Category Archives: idiots

Engine Management For Subaru WRX/STi

 

Why do I need engine management?

 


Consider your stock engine management for just a moment. Your stock engine control unit (ECU) is a very complex piece of circuitry that calculates hundreds of variables every second. All of these variables rely on inputs within a + or – range. When you modify your vehicle, these values change. As long as the changes are within the values the ECU expects to receive, your engine runs fine. Once the values are exceeded, the ECU is programmed to compensate to return the values to normal levels.

A typical way of engine management is to use a Cobb Accessport.
A typical way of engine management is to use a Cobb Accessport.

This is a layman’s explanation of how your stock ECU can actually work against you when modifying your vehicle. This also explains why modifications can feel great once they are bolted on but the butt dyno results seem to fade over time. This is due to ECU compensation.

What is the first step in finding what engine management I need? Finding a tuner. The Tuner FAQ will help with the general rules of finding a good tuner. Remember, it’s always better to have a custom tune vs. a plug and play or “staged” map. Always defer to the tuner’s advice as to what to choose as ultimately he will be the one to provide custom support. Discuss your goals and budget and your tuner should set you on the right path. If you are a “plug and play” kind of person, review the options below and decide for yourself along with input from locals in your regional forum and the car parts review forum.

What will engine management do for me? Generally speaking, engine management optimizes several engine functions to create more horsepower and efficiency. The stock ECU is designed to ensure your car runs fine and monitors the engine’s output parameters. Utilizing an aftermarket engine management solution takes this to the next level.

Share

Subaru Headlight idiocy continued

Let’s make our Subaru completely useless at night and attract the attention of local law enforcement. Please just stop doing this.  The only reason you should have red lights on your car if your an authorized emergency vehicle which this Subaru certainly isn’t.

 

Easiest way to get a ticket from the local police.
Easiest way to get a ticket from the local police.

Better hope those poorly made Chinese lights don’t fail and cause a electrical fire.

 

[wpdevart_like_box profile_id=”” connections=”6″ width=”300″ height=”550″ header=”0″ locale=”en_US”]

Share

Let me blind you with my Subaru Forester

Nothing quite like getting the attention of every cop in your city with your blue tinted headlights with your Subaru Forester.  If a cop doesn’t pull this clown over he is going to blind and piss off every motorist this clown drives by. Someone needs to tell this guy its illegal to have blue and red lights on your vehicle.  I’m sure that this Forester is a rally champion and needs all the light it can get for those dangerous night time rally stages at the Rally America events.

BlindingDrivers

 

 

Oh are is that a LED light bar in his hood scoop? Talk about obnoxious.

Share

Broken STi: Let’s drive 19 hours to look at a broken Subaru

First of all who drives eight hours one way to see a broken Subaru STi? Driving that far to buy a common car like a 2006 Subaru WRX Sti is just silly without asking for 20+ pictures. This guy probably didn’t even tell the owner how far they were traveling in the first place.Of course this gets a lot better when the seller of the car comes and posts in the thread, because the owner of the STi is even a bigger idiot. So now it is time to diagnosis this shit show.

Scammer01

Considering all the kid did in the buyers opinion was waste his time the buyer should consider it a lesson learned on driving half way across the country to buy a broken Subaru STi.

Scammer03

 

Of course the comments come out of the woodwork.

Scammer05

So it looks like the seller and buyer originally agreed upon 12.9k and then the buyer offered 10k after seeing the STi in person. The owner declined. No where does the buyer say he told the seller how far he is traveling.

Scammer06

Well who the fuck has a motor that has 13k into it and not decide to part out the engine? With that much money the long block must be worth some cash along with the turbo and supporting mods on the STi. Time to call bullshit on the owner. The 13k if it ever happened as probably including the cost of the installation of everything from a shop that does Subaru STi’s.

Scammer07

 

So what’s the lesson here for everyone? Don’t drive across the country to buy a STi that you know if very very broken in the first place. There is such a thing called Caveat emptor or “buyer beware” for those that don’t know Latin. If you attempt to buy from a private buyer don’t expect the car to be in the best condition no matter what the seller says.

Lesson:

Don’t go 19 hours to buy a car from a kid with a Monster Energy Drink flat bill hat on, because he is probably a fucking moron. 

Share

Subaru owner gets into fights with his neighbor over his exhaust.

This guy is the reason why regular Subaru owners get dirty looks from regular people and the police.

Subaruapartment

 

Maybe this guy should tone down his “subie rumble!!!” when he is around his apartment complex. Nothing says douchebag Subaru owner then disturbing all your neighbors every time you leave or come home to your apartment. He’ll probably get pissed and wonder why the police start bothering him and giving him exhaust tickets. God forbid someone is sleeping from working third shift and gets woken up by this idiot. It’s all about him him him.

 

 

Share

Nothing like telling everyone in the world that you are STI positive.

 

Why would anyone think it would be a good idea telling everyone in the world that you are positive for a STI.

According to Wikipedia:

Sexually transmitted infections (STI), also referred to as sexually transmitted diseases (STD) and venereal diseases (VD), are infections that are commonly spread by sex, especially vaginal intercourse, anal sex and oral sex. Most STIs initially do not cause symptoms.[1] This results in a greater risk of passing the disease on to others.[2]Symptoms and signs of disease may include vaginal discharge, penile discharge, ulcers on or around the genitals, andpelvic pain. STIs acquired before or during birth may result in poor outcomes for the baby. Some STIs may cause problems with the ability to get pregnant.[1]

 

 

STIpositive STipositive1

 

I’m just really embarrassed to own a Subaru Impreza WRX STi at this point. Anyone that gets the joke would think it’s dumb anyways.

Share

How to hydro-lock your Impreza

Sometimes not going through the gigantic puddle in a stock height Subaru Impreza 2.5RS is the smart thing to do.

This Subaru Impreza 2.5RS is now flooded and done for. Maybe a lifted 4×4 truck is what you should use if you want to go “mudding”.

Share

Anyone have any low budget idea I can do to make my baby (Subaru) look a little sexier?

legalproblems

 

Maybe instead of trying to “make your baby a little sexier” you take care of your legal problems and just drive your Subaru the way it is.

Share